The 1001 Things List
When I was really at the point of my darkest despair in my grief I had stopped eating. I was barely functioning. I went to the doctor and insisted something was wrong with me because I couldn’t eat. I had no appetite whatsoever and that had never happened in my lifetime before. But the tests came back normal. I realized I’d better see a therapist because a person has to eat.
This year, on the anniversary of George’s death I went there again. The dark place and there was a part of me that rebelled. So I wrote a list of 10 things that made me happy because surely to heavens this kind of pain has to have a balance. I took it to my therapist. He said make it a list of 100. I made a list of 100. It was becoming very difficult. I figured I had to restrict how many times I mentioned food like escargots in garlic butter sauce and how many times I mentioned every animal I and my friends owned. He said make it a list of 1000.
And that is where I am. A list of 1001 things that make me happy. Mine took months. See something happens to you. You start spending the day looking for something to write on your list that makes you happy. It's the darndest thing. In the middle of despair.
I started out monosyllabic. By the time I'd finished that had changed. I started out with me. By the time I'd finished I realized it was about others. I started out with grey and ended up with God, however you can conceive he/she/it/they/them/zem to be. This is this antidote to this world we are living in. Watch the news: write something for your list. Someone maliciously attacks you: write something for your list. Wonder how you're gonna make it through the day? read your list.
When the whining starts, which it will at around about the 212th thing on your list, remember I'm not asking you to sail the high seas in a raft in a hurricane. I'm just saying build a raft for when you end up in the high seas in a hurricane.
This is my gift to you. Because sometimes, happy as you may be right now, sometimes life is a nightmare. I know you know that. So you go back and you read your list. By the time you’ve finished your list you have found so much gratitude for this life, I can’t begin to tell you. You are to make a list of 1001 things that make you happy. And it will be hard! You’d think it would be easy but around about 437 you start listing TV characters…. Don't give up. My advice. Start with a colour. Green makes me happy.
Love to you all.
When I was really at the point of my darkest despair in my grief I had stopped eating. I was barely functioning. I went to the doctor and insisted something was wrong with me because I couldn’t eat. I had no appetite whatsoever and that had never happened in my lifetime before. But the tests came back normal. I realized I’d better see a therapist because a person has to eat.
This year, on the anniversary of George’s death I went there again. The dark place and there was a part of me that rebelled. So I wrote a list of 10 things that made me happy because surely to heavens this kind of pain has to have a balance. I took it to my therapist. He said make it a list of 100. I made a list of 100. It was becoming very difficult. I figured I had to restrict how many times I mentioned food like escargots in garlic butter sauce and how many times I mentioned every animal I and my friends owned. He said make it a list of 1000.
And that is where I am. A list of 1001 things that make me happy. Mine took months. See something happens to you. You start spending the day looking for something to write on your list that makes you happy. It's the darndest thing. In the middle of despair.
I started out monosyllabic. By the time I'd finished that had changed. I started out with me. By the time I'd finished I realized it was about others. I started out with grey and ended up with God, however you can conceive he/she/it/they/them/zem to be. This is this antidote to this world we are living in. Watch the news: write something for your list. Someone maliciously attacks you: write something for your list. Wonder how you're gonna make it through the day? read your list.
When the whining starts, which it will at around about the 212th thing on your list, remember I'm not asking you to sail the high seas in a raft in a hurricane. I'm just saying build a raft for when you end up in the high seas in a hurricane.
This is my gift to you. Because sometimes, happy as you may be right now, sometimes life is a nightmare. I know you know that. So you go back and you read your list. By the time you’ve finished your list you have found so much gratitude for this life, I can’t begin to tell you. You are to make a list of 1001 things that make you happy. And it will be hard! You’d think it would be easy but around about 437 you start listing TV characters…. Don't give up. My advice. Start with a colour. Green makes me happy.
Love to you all.
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